Friday, November 7, 2014

Miss Kaydee Kelly... A Birth Story

                  Wow. I have been  awful at this whole blogging thing! I thought I had better write down Kaydee's birth story before I forget to many precious details!  
Kaydee Kelly was born 10/4/14  at 4:06 am at Portneuf Medical Hospital 
She weighed 7 lb 8 oz 20.5 inches long. 
born  38.3 days gestation.

This picture was taken the day I went into labor.

 I was being monitored since 36 weeks. Here are some pretty pictures of me going in for Non stress tests. She passed with flying colors every time.

I went in for my 38 week check on Wednesday. I was secretly hoping he wouldn't check to see if I was dilated or not because I was already grumpy and didn't feel like having someone stick their hand up my whoo haa and put me in more pain. I am not kidding. I was grumpy. The last trimester was really hard on my body. Doing hygiene 4 days a week was starting to wear on Anyways, we get to the end of the apt and he grabs the cover up and says, Oh ya, let's check you and then we can schedule an induction for next week. Grrr. He was joking with my husband about me being grumpy throughout the apt and I wanted to laugh when he came back in and said, "Do you want to hurt me now or later?" I replied to him that I would prefer to hurt him after he delivers my baby. I kinda like my OB. =) I was almost postive I was no where close to being dialated because I hadn't felt any contractions, not even braxton hicks. He said ehhh you are a 2 and softening. Well he spent a lot of time up there and it was extremely uncomfortable. (I think he secretly stripped my membranes) . Then he called the hospital and scheduled an induction for the following Wednesday (and he would strip my membranes the day before). 

Well we had a lot to do still before the little one got here. It was conference weekend, so we decided that we would take that time to get everything washed, organized etc. Friday I got up and had my check list of everything I needed to do. I started having some little pains in my belly around 4 ish. I thought it was just me walking around too much. When I was in Walmart I noticed that they were still happening and that I actually had to stop during the pain and kinda say ow. I also noticed they were becoming more regular. I figured they were braxton hicks. So they should be going away. Well I finished the things on my list to do then went home and Nick and I went and got Costa Vida (our weekly ritual). When we got home I told Nick that I have been having contractions but I don't think it was anything serious. I joked with him how I thought it would be funny if we had a baby tonight. He just kinda said ya right and didn't believe me. Well the contractions never went away and they were getting closer together it felt like. So I downloaded an app that helped me track them. They were about 4-5 min apart lasting about a minute.  We decided to go get ice cream with Nick's sisters and they kept getting stronger and stronger gradually. I had to start holding my breath through them. After that we went to my mom's house to borrow her sewing machine so I could sew Kaydee's carseat cover. It was about 10 pm, and when I walked in I had a really strong contraction and headed for the bathroom as to not alarm my parents. My dad asked me if I was OK. I said ooo yeah. We sat and chatted with my parents and at this point they were getting pretty sore and coming about every 3-4 min and lasting 1 min and 30 sec. My mom caught me when I was making a funny face and asked if I was having contractions. I caved. I said I think so? But I wasn't sure. I always pictured labor contractions like in the movies... ya know the women who are screaming their heads off on the way to the hospital. I was not there... yet. I decided to call the hospital just in case. They said I could go up and they would check me if I wanted. I decided to go home and do some dishes and then decide if they were still coming. Well on the way home, I decided I had better just go to the hospital now and have them check me. Nick said well let's go home and pack a bag just in case. I said OK, but I'm pretty sure they are just gonna send me home. So we went home and as soon as I got out of the truck I said, no we had better go now. They were painful and I couldn't walk. I hurried and packed a bag for me ( Kaydee's was already packed) and we hurried there. On the way there, they were getting pretty un bearable. They checked me in, and got me all hooked up. The resident came and checked me and I was at a 5 with a bulging bag of waters and I was not going anywhere. I was so shocked! It was so surreal. They asked me if I wanted to get the epidural now because the anesthesiologist just did one down the hall. I said well I think I'm OK for now, but maybe soon? I didn't expect things to move so quick. She said I'll take your blood to the lab and when we get it back then we can get you started on an epidual. Well, they took FOREVER it seemed like. Apparently it was only like 30 min. By then I was about to scream for the nurse because it was so painful. The resident came in and checked me and I was at an 8! I was so scared they were not going to be able to give me an epidural. Right after that (thank goodness) the anesthesiologist came in and decided it be best to do an intra thecal ( best for moving so quickly) but to give a catheter just in case it takes longer than 2-3 hours to give birth. So when I was getting ready to lay back down from getting the intrathecal I felt a gush of water ( like a LOT of water) My water had broke! They were surprised there was so much fluid. The epidural slowed things down a bit. They checked me again and I was at a 9.5 but couldn't push yet because there was just a little bit of cervix all the way around. So we waited for 3-4 hours. They had to give me pictocin and kept increasing it. FInally my doctor came in to check me and found out why I hadn't progressed. Apparently I had another bag of waters that didn't break? Or extra fluid that was still up there? or something like that. So he broke it, and then said, alright time to push! Ahh are you serious?! I was so nervous! They all just kinda stared at me, and I was like, well, do you want me to push? The doctor said, sure if you want to? All calm like. 
So I pushed through about 3-4 contractions and there she was! 
All I could do was cry. 
I heard those joyful cries coming from the lungs of my precious baby girl.
It was honestly the best day of my life.
I am so grateful for the special relationship I had with my OB. He just sat there and gleamed at this little girl. (the crew in the hallway said he came out wiping tears from his eyes)
And Nick.
The smile on his face was priceless. 
This little girl was so wrapped around his little finger. 
I was speechless and I just stared at her. I didn't want to comfort her crying. I longed 2 years to hear this account of life.  
I can't put into words the feeling I have for this little girl. 
She has brightened up the darkest days. 
Truely a miracle. 
In that room I felt the closest I have ever felt to Heaven. A spirit filled the room and it just felt like Heavenly Father was giving us a big hug. Madden's spirit was present and it was the most amazing feeling.

**I have more photos from the delivery, but some of them are, well, graphic, so I need to edit some things out before I post them.

Here are some photos of our sweet babe. Since our babe just turned 1 month, I'll write a post just about that. (hopefully sooner rather than later!)

                                    *PS: This cradle in the above picture, my father in law made. Isn't it just beautiful? Kaydee sleeps in it beautifully. It glides back and forth so it's really nice to rock in the middle of the night with both eyes shut ;)

Sunday, August 24, 2014

I guess it's time to announce...

Welp, there isn't much hiding it anymore. I have been pretty reluctant to announce this because of everything that has happened. Nick and I are expecting a baby =)
                                                       <===== 7 weeks pregnant 

We are due in October. Yes, that means we got pregnant exactly 6 months after Madden. When we lost Madden we were devestated. We had waited 10 months for a family, and when it was taken from us, we knew the only way we would feel whole again was if we got pregnant right away. By no means are we replacing our son, but ready to add to our already wonderful  eternal family. We are so excited for this little addition, but at the same time have been stressing/worrying the whole time.
On May 21st ( Nicks birthday) we found out we were having a precious baby girl.

Those pictures are a little out of order, and really haven't kept dates etc. I have been completely awful about updating how far along I am and taking pictures. I hope I don't regret it one day! At 30 weeks we did the 3D ultrasound! I never did it with Madden. I'm so glad I chose to do it with our little girl! Can I tell you she already has a ton of personality (maybe a little too much like her mom). It was so funny, she had her arms in front of her face and it was difficult to get a picture. So the tech was pushing (rather hard and painful I might add) on my stomach to try and get her to move. Well we see her on the ultrasound make this really mean grimacing face including eyebrow movement, frown, and open mouth (looked like she was yelling) and then she moved her arms! She was not happy. But then a few minutes later we were poking her (softly) to try and get her to make some facial expressions, and she totally gave us a smile. So darn cute. I like to call her my sour patch kid.

Andddd the smile =)

31 ish weeks
and Today! 32 1/2 weeks

So because they never concluded what exactly happened to our sweet boy, we are not really being treated any differently than any other pregnancy up until 36 weeks. Then we will do non stress tests 2 times a week followed by weekly biophysical (?I think thats what they call it) ultrasound one time a week. I guess it is sort of like a regular ultrasound but measures the baby's CNS activity, monitors blood flow and activity. They also MIGHT take me a week early (which is all they really can do without having a medical reason). Which is cool and all but can I tell you it has been pure HECK worrying about this lil girl for almost 33 weeks already! It has been a blessing however, that she is super active. I feel like we already know her personality, and she is such a little sweetheart. Anytime I don't feel her for an hour or 2, I just kinda tell her, Ok now I need you to make me feel better, she gives me a little nudge to let me know she is there. Other times in the middle of the night if Nick gets worried, he will place his hand on my belly and even if I haven't felt her all night, the minute he puts his hand there, she just knows and gives him a kick. I love it. 

This pregnancy has been COMPLETELY different than with Madden. With Madden I was super sick mostly the whole time, throwing up, and smells just completely appalled me.  With her, I was a little sick ( but only threw up once or twice due to brushing my teeth) but it pretty much stopped at 12 weeks. Then the sweet cravings kicked in! I am not typically a cookie or cake girl, but oh man, I can't get enough! I have gained a little more weight with her so far then I did with Madden ( probably due to all those dang sweets!) Since it wasn't too long after that I got pregnant again, my body is also having a harder time carrying this one.  I haven't swelled or anything like I did with Madden, but oh my goodness, the varicose veins, spider veins,  and not to mention a hernia, my hips hurt, and I can't walk too long without just wanting to sit down. Don't worry, after this one, I will DEFINITELY give my body some time to recover =) I am trying to make the best out of it, but I wonder how I am going to go through 7 more weeks of this.  However, I am so grateful that I was able to get pregnant again and start my healing process. It is still super hard because I get so worried all the time. I just have a completely different feeling with this pregnancy. Nick worries constantly, but I just have this calming feeling that everything is going to be OK, and she will be perfectly healthy.  

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Madden's 1 year Angelversary

1 whole year has passed since this sweet angel passed on to live with his Heavenly Father.

It seems like only yesterday that we went through this traumatic experience being left with emptiness. This past year has had its share of ups and downs. It never gets any easier and not a day passes that I don't think of this sweetheart. But it has gotten better.  When I look at pictures or talk about Madden, it's not as hard. I can talk about it. At times I will still tear up, and I have those days where I just need to completely cry my heart out, but I feel those days are necessary. This little guy has left a huge impact on everyone around him. When our family/friends asked as this day approached, as to what we were planning on doing to remember this event, I couldn't help but let out a few tears every time. I didn't WANT to remember this day. I felt like if we had a bbq or a party that we would be celebrating this day. This is not a day I wanted to celebrate nor remember. I just kept telling everyone we would go with the flow. I couldn't think about it or I would completely break down in tears. Well July 4th came, and I won't lie, it was hard.

On July 4th, most people celebrate Independence Day. As we did partake in the festivities, we took time out to remember this angel. After Madden passed, we decided that we would wait to get a headstone until his 1 year birthday. So about 7 weeks prior we made arrangements with the headstone company to have it completed by/before July 4th.  Picking out a headstone for our son was difficult. No one should ever have to go through that. They have a book of all these precious little pictures and layouts etc. I couldn't look through it. We already knew what we wanted on it, and what we wanted to say. I think it turned out so amazing. After a year of no headstone and just a sign that says "Kristopher Kelly", it feels so good to finally have a headstone for our little guy that I can decorate and put up flowers, toys, etc as I see fit.

Before ( on Memorial Day)

Our sweet family

We let some balloons go in hope that he might feel our love from Earth.
 Love you baby Madden.

Wedding time!

I'm a little late posting this.... ok a few MONTHS late posting this, but my brother got married in April! Here are a few lovely pictures from the wedding/receptions that were snapped. The reception turned out beautifully and so much hard work was put into it. I'm so happy for my brother Adam, Daniella, and their now 3 kids! Such a beautiful family.



This is me after making Many batches of frosting for cupcakes.

Pre wedding pamper at Muse Salon for the girls! So fun!